Woman of Valor

My mother was a religious woman who knew the bible; one important chapter my mother taught me was from the book of Proverbs which describes a “woman of valor”:

A wife of a noble character who can find?

She is worth far more than rubies;

………………………………......

She is clothed with strength and dignity;

she can laugh at days to come.

She speaks with wisdom,

and teaching with kindness is on her tongue. (31:10, 31:25-26)

My mother exemplified this idea of a valorous woman, and as such, gave me a model on which I could aspire to imitate.

My family is from a small town of the Philippines. My mother raised four children nearly by herself; my father supported us as a mariner and was out at sea most of the time. It took great strength for her to raise four children, who all graduated college. Strength to manage the budget, strength to feed and discipline four children, strength to make it all look easy.

It looked easy because my mother carried herself with dignity. Not the dignity of royalty or wealth, yet the humble dignity of a woman who understood her situation and what was needed to be done. The dignity that comes from careful planning to avoid adversities rather than fight through it. She had the dignity of purpose which was because she dedicated herself to her family.

In my country, there is no real government welfare. There really isn’t any safety net to fall upon in times of misfortune. To preserve our status in life took wisdom, as we could not afford to make even a single mistake; my mother had that necessary wisdom. She maintained the budget, saved for our education, and paid the bills. She taught us those skills we needed to maintain our station and to improve on it.

Strength, dignity, and wisdom are pointless without kindness; kindness may not make you happy, but it’s a piece of what makes you deserving of happiness. My mother was very kind; she opened her home to our large extended family when they needed help; my mother would share our food with our neighbors when they were without and the clothing budget was always spent on her children before she bought herself a new dress or a new pair of heels.

I am not yet a mother, but I am now a wife; in my own house, I model my behavior from my mother. I do my best to gather my strength to support my husband in his professional endeavors. I do my best to balance my roles as wife, student, sister, and daughter. It is not easy, but the fact that my mother did it, gives me confidence that I will be able to do it.

I think my mother’s dignified demeanor came from being well adapted to her environment and knowing how to master her many roles during her time, while I will not require the same wisdom as my mother to survive, I hope that I will exhibit the same level of wisdom so that my family might thrive.

My mother was not a business tycoon, member of a royal family or even a town alderman but she was a mother to four children and a loving wife and as such she was perfect. She died a few years ago; It was a sudden and crushing blow but she rests in peace knowing her children will have strength, dignity, wisdom, and kindness, if only we follow her example.